Hi! I’m Kendall
Functional. Nutritional. Hilarious.
Hi, I’m Kendall McKinven—FNTP, writer, wellness enthusiast, and creator of Sardine Week (it’s like Shark Week, only smaller).
This started as a place to share recipes and health hacks. It’s now grown into a curated corner of the internet where I merge evidence-backed nutrition with strong opinions, questionable metaphors, and the occasional unsolicited celebrity commentary.
What I Do
I help you navigate the ever-expanding wellness multiverse by actually trying the things everyone’s talking about—so you don’t have to waste your time (or your adrenal glands). I try out protocols, products, and low-lift wellness habits and share what actually works for energy, digestion, blood sugar, skin, and mood all with…wait for it…a healthy sense of humor!
I’m a Functional Nutritional Therapy Practitioner (FNTP) with a background in comedy and performance, which is probably why this blog reads more like a text rant than a biology textbook. I believe in a bio-individual, real food approach to wellness, but I also believe in memes, sardines, and making things make sense.
Where to Find Me
Subscribe to my Substack — Natural Selection is where I share my most unfiltered thoughts, favorite product recs, and breakdowns of what’s trending in wellness and why it might (or might not) be BS.
Follow on whimsy Instagram — For bite-sized nutrition tips, product trials, wellness routines, and whatever’s currently living rent-free in my head.
Mosey around the ol’ blog — If you like reading things with headlines like “Offaly Good: The Benefits & Differences Between Liver & Multi-Organ Supplements”
Not Taking Clients, But Still In Your Corner
While I’m not currently seeing clients, my goal is still the same: to help you cut through the noise, trust your gut (literally and figuratively), and find sustainable, realistic tools to support your health, without losing your mind (or your sense of humor) in the process.
Quick Facts, Because Why Not?!
I’m a Chicago native who now lives wherever the sun and water take me
I once went raw vegan and thought green juice could solve burnout (spoiler: it didn’t)
I’m extremely double-jointed, never had a cavity, and ate lemons like apples as a kid
My face is on a collectible plate
If that sounds like your kind of vibe, subscribe to my Substack, follow me on IG, or send me a quick hello, and let’s keep your digestive and creative juices flowing.
xx,
Kendall
DISCLAIMER
The information on this website is intended as educational advice only and should not be used in place of a medical provider to diagnose or treat any illness.